You Know You've Played Too
Many Videogame RPGs When....
| The first list I ever saw was the "You know you watch too much
Sailor Moon when..." list. It's dead now but during my first days of
internet surfing it made me laugh. Over the years I made a few lists that were
mostly in jokes with my friends. Therefore it is in the not-so-grand tradition of
lists I bring you one of my own. There are many other lists out there and probably
at least a Google page full of lists that are similar to this one. Enjoy it anyway. |
Love it? Hate it? What to add something to it? Email me!
• You name your pets after your favorite
characters…
• You name your children after characters….
• You change your own name to that of your favorite character…
• You don’t even bother renaming the characters anymore,
unless it’s to put their name in lower case letters…
• You can quote entire FMV sequences…
• You can quote entire games…
• You can carry on a conversation with another gamer using only
quotes from games…
• You think you look like a character from an RPG and your friends
agree…
• You’re in love with a character in an RPG…
• You can’t fall asleep unless you play a RPG first…
• You sing along to game songs that are in different
languages…
• You’ve beaten any game more than sixteen times…
• You’ve spent long hours breeding chocobos
• You can do the chocobo dance
• You actually took the time to figure out the junction system.
• You figured out the sphere grid.
• Every member of your party is at level 99…
• You can sing the opera from FF(3)6…
• You dress up like your favorite character and it’s not
Halloween or a con…
• You know who Mag the Mog is…
• You begin to believe that you are a descendent of Edrick…
• You have a bumper sticker that reads: “My other car is an
airship.”
• You find watching someone play an RPG is more exciting than
watching a movie…
• You have an emulator for your RPGs even though you own all the
games…
• You’ve played through the Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball RPG
• You’ve written your own RPG…
• You are in desperate need to own the new RPG maker…
• You own a copy and have made at least six working games with it.
• You’re on a first name basis with the people at the game
store…
• You’ve wallpapered your room with old world maps from
games…
• You have a drawer full of graph paper with dungeon maps on
them…
• Your posters have begun to spill out into the hall…
• You cried when a character died, even on the 20th time you played
it…
• You name your water gun after a character’s weapon…
• You hum themes while you work…
• You bring your computer or a disk to work so you can play themes
and play certain themes every time your boss walks in the room.
• You’re in a store and someone disses an RPG so you grab the
nearest thing off the shelf and chase them with it…
• You have long standing arguments with friends about the parentage
of certain characters…
• You ask store managers if they’ll buy your old stuff back at
half price…
• When they say no you demand to see Taloon…
• You remember who Taloon is…
• You want to live in Costa Del Sol…
• You think life would be so much easier with an All materia…
• Someone’s party dies while playing a game and you say
“Thou art dead.”
• You remember what game that’s from…
• You’ve begun to pity the villain…
• You know just why Life 4 rocks…
• You know how to do Rinoa and Squall’s dance…
• You take friends to a dance and do it…
• You’re watching a show by accident and see someone wearing
the outfit Rinoa wore and proceed to email them…
• It was a Korean show…
• Now you watch it all the time…
• You’ve begun to see a resemblance between Yuffie and
Selfie…
• You are convinced that the Guardian Force Diablos is merely
Vincent in Chaos form… (He did talk about sleeping to long when you defeated
him…)
• You have the Japanese version of games…
• You take Japanese so that you can play them…
• You develop a severe hatred of block puzzles…
• You beat Final Fantasy Mystic Quest in two days…
• You beat the above game in one hour…
• You go to buy something and ask for its stats…
• You own more action figures than you have room to display
them…
• You refer to a favorite character by a nickname of your own
choosing…
• You remember RPGs before they even had good plots…
• You’ve ever tried to figure out the story line of
Zelda…
• You used to watch that cartoon…
• You can still quote that cartoon…
• You ARE Captain N the GameMaster…
• You’ve attached the contral pad and zapper to your
belt…
• You often wondered where all those items in your characters
inventory where kept, after all, they never seemed to have backpacks…
• You’ve developed your own theory and discuss it with your
friends…
• You try to figure out how time passes in most RPGs…(i.e. how
come that meteor didn’t hit LONG before you finally got your ass into the
crater…)
• You camped out at the movie theater to see the Final Fantasy
Movie.
• You’ve ever stolen a standup display from FuncoLand…
• You plan on moving to Japan…
• You write papers for school on RPGs…
• You write walkthroughs for games…
• You notice the resemblance between Cloud and Chocobos…
• The only reason you work is to get money to buy RPGs and related
material…
• You want to be half esper so you can fly…
• You just want to be able to fly…
• You have this strange urge to horde hot dogs…
• You write Fan Fiction…
• Your parents ask you what kind of animal you want for a pet and
you say “Ifrit” and promise to make sure he doesn’t torch the house…
• You write to companies to complain when they spell a name wrong
on the back of a box…
• You think the Guardian Force Gilgamesh is really GoGo…
• You waited for Shadow…
• You know who Relm’s father is…
• You want a pair of Sprint Shoes…
• You play drinking games when you play…
• You thought Kefka was a scary clown until you saw Zell…
• You won’t go to the circus anymore…
• Or you do and try to free Spar, whom you’re sure is locked
up in the back room…
• You haven’t missed a reference on this list yet…
• You get mad that I haven’t really made a direct Xenogears
reference…
• You’ve begun to look for save points in real life.
• You’re looking for Dragon Temples so that you can learn how
to change into a Giant Dragon…
• You see a group of fireflies and run into their midst and wave
your arms around so that they’ll heal you …
• You’ve noticed the resemblance between Barret and Mr.
T…
• Two words…Oregon Trail.
• You think Nina looks better with Black Wings anyway…
• Your friend is in the armed forces and you try to get them to
rename their squad to the Red Wings…
• You can’t remember where Mississippi is (or anyother state
for that matter) but you know you’re way around any given world in any of your
games…
• You’re on a search for the black materia, but you’re
also looking for the white materia so that no one can stop you…
• You once beat the original Final Fantasy with two black mages and
two white mages…
• You once beat the original Final Fantasy with four white
mages…
• You once beat it with four black mages…
• You beat Ultima Exdous that way…
• You’ve come to expect the fact that when the same enemy is
wearing a different color they are now stronger…
• You’ve given serious thought on how to operate a
gunblade…
• There are times you wish you knew the mute spell…
• Or any spell for that matter…
• Someone tells you they have food posining and you wonder why
little green bubbles aren’t appearing around them…
• One of your friends is asleep and you hit them as hard as you can
to wake them up…
• You’re friends won’t admit to being confused around you
for fear of the same…
• You have a friend that’s really into Shakesphere and you
call them Mr. Thou…
• You know that an item like a mop or a parasol will cause more
damage than a large gun or spear…
• You wonder how the race of Moogles suddenly got named after
one…
• You ever pruposely changed your characters into imps so they
could equip those imp armor and weapons…
• You work in an office and anyone who comes up to talk to you will
hear, “Look, I’m a receptionist!” No matter what their question is…
• You get arrested for going into people’s houses without
knocking…
• You fought the 255 battles to change the cursed sheild into a
paladian sheild…
• You write your thesis on videogames…
• You use quotes extensivly…
• And you list all your refrences…
• You get a good grade on it…
• You make up your own sayings. i.e. “That’s about as
likely as killing a Metal Babbel or a Cacatour…”
• And use them as often as you can…
• When your friends ask you where your going you respond, “To
whatever number is next on the map.”
• You own more memory cards then you own clothes…
• All of your clothes having something to do with a game…
• You bought the villa…
• You stalk people who you think look like video game
characters…
• You try to use a deck of cards as a weapon…
• Someone asks you if you know the ruler if England and you reply
that it’s Lord British of course…
• You go out at night and look for moongates…
• You know it’s a fact of life that people will leave herbs
and ammo in their homes…
• You sing the victory theme whenever you win an argument…
• You work in a bar and are trying to get the owner to rename it
“Seventh Heaven”…
• When that doesn’t work you suggest just “Pub” or
“Café”…
• You go into bars and look for pinball machines…
• If they have one you start looking around for an elevator…
• You go into subways and scope out the flower venders to see if
they have a white materia on a ribbion in their hair…
• You hear there’s going to be a metoer shower and you try to
find out where they’re going to hit so you can draw energy from the planet…
• You own a game where you can have a halfling or an elf as a
character…
• You go back and read old game manuals for fun…
• You have little memo books full of passwords…
• You’ve gone back to figure out which games they’re
for…
• You know who Pit is…
• You hit statues over the head with mallets and wonder why they
don’t transform into little flying warriors…
• You’ve developed a fear of Eggplants…
• You know that enimies always move in a predictable pattern…
• And they’ll usually make noise so that you know that their
coming…
• Planets and Homes are often equipped with self-destruct devices
that will be or can be armed upon defeat of the Overlord…
• You run everywhere you go…
• You have no fear of heights, because you know that a fall from a
great height won’t harm you in any way. Especially if you’re wearing heavy
armor…
• You move your arms and legs even when you are standing
still…
• You sent out an application to the Garden…
• You have RPG music playing as you read this list…
• You’re playing one and a friend is reading you this
list…
• You visit the next town over and wonder why their stuff
isn’t better than the stuff in your town…
• You’re trying to buy a Gold Ticket…
• When people ask you the time you say things like “The
seconds are divisable by twenty…but remember we all lie!!”
• You can’t understand how a plane could crash into a
mountain, as soon as it approaches one it should just shoot up automatically…
• You go into restaurants and try to pay before you eat…
• Your TV and game system are hooked up to a generator, just in
case of power faliure…
• You’re trying to translate Chocobo into Enlgish…
• You’re succeding…
• You refuse to ride on trains for fear that they’ll try to
transport you into the next life and you’ll have to fight ghosts in all the
cars…
• You own a Tonbury toy.
• You own a Cacatour toy.
• You own a Vivi Plushie
• You cosplay.
• You wear a silver and gold ring every time you enter a room with
a clock.
• You try to return a sword when it doesn’t shoot out bolts of
light.
|
|