Quotes: Page 1

His pants are pants. They're not negligée!
    -Chae on Xellos' pants.

Ranma: What is this? A riddle?
Kuno: No. It's a cute dollie.
    -Ranma 1/2

We're on the side of the Buffalo, it's the people having sex with the Buffalo that we have a problem with.
    -Robin (out of character on a story)

Revenge is a dish best served with a side of obsession and a nice tall glass of spite.

I could be covered in clue musk, in a field full of horny clues, doing the clue mating dance, and still not get a clue.

You may be proud, I have a pot-holder.

We're so thingied, we're thingied.
    -Jemma on the Joys of late night English

Bev: I want to see this new wardrobe too, but for different reasons.
Shelly: Bev's just curious. Adina's Adina.
Chae: She has adulterer motives.
    -On Jemma's new wardrobe

Come back and eat your cookie like a man!
    -Akane to Ranma

It was taunting me with its unmovingness.

Shelly: It was a good night had by all.
Tory: And now it will be a good coffee had by me!
    -On staying up late and the morning after.

If my food gets an auspicious luminosity, I want an auspicious luminosity too! Dang it!
    -Shelly, food, and way to much Journey to the West

One of the evil thingies of the thingy.
    -Jemma, early morning English

Shelly: And at the end of any anime someone is NAKED!
Chae: And if they're emerging from a giant eyeball, so much the better!
    -Endings of Anime

I can't put the thingy in the thing-thing...
    -Bev on setting up her computer - the Thingy that started it all

I had the uneasy feeling that a duck was sneaking up behind me.

I thingy a lot too, but I don't thingy enough to cause quotations.
    -Shelly on Jemma's over-thingying

I was going to clean my room, but then I got industrious.

Akio doesn't have any pants of his own, he steals everybody else's.
    -Shelly on "Utena" pants

He blinds you with the flash from his camera and then steals your pants.
    -Chae with more on the pants

The health of my watch is at stake!

Yes! I have made a statement, without - ow!OW!OW! ID IN my hip! OW! ... As I was saying - ow! Trying to recover my lost dignity, failing miserably - OW!

Shelly: I have a silly spot, and her name is Chae.
Chae: If I had a silly spot, I would call it Chauncy!
    -Yes, it's late.

When the immovable force meets the irresistible object...then we have an interesting problem.

You two are more twisted than a pair of slinkies, you know that?

Some people just won't perk. It's very annoying.

It's hard to be evil when your pants are falling down.

I would be on a bagel and I would be some really tasty stuff.
    -Jemma's a melt

Hide me! Save me! ... Where the hell is my chapstick?!

Oh my gods that's a huge knot...oh wait, that's my bicep.

Jemma, my darling, my love, my life...get on the bed, would you?

Damn you both! You tricked me into incriminating quotes.     -Jemma

This minion has bruised knees.

Watch it, or you'll get the Faulkner again.
    -Jemma and the substitute common sense mallet

Oh, the smiley-face-looking thing is actually a hamburger!

American Association Against Acronym Abuse Regional Group Headquarters / Staff Transport  Office Pool (AAAAARGH/STOP)

Some people have a genuine gift of poetry, a way with words that surpasses beauty and touches the deepest parts of one's soul... and some people, um, thingy.

Chae: The Vulcans are insane.
Jemma: The Japanese are insane too, if it makes you feel any better.
Chae: No, they're just copycats, with weird grammar.

Jayla35chu: What's a nad?
x Unnie Bunnie x: It's the sound a dern makes when it's stepped on.
Jayla35chu: lol I didn't know derns made noise.
x Unnie Bunnie x: Well only if you step on them.
Jayla35chu: I've never stepped on a dern, I don't think.
x Unnie Bunnie x: Normally they just sit there and blink.
Jayla35chu: Tend to scuttle out of the way then?
x Unnie Bunnie x: Well every now and then they stare and forget to blink and they're antenna's don't pick up people coming and they get stepped on  and then they "nad" up a storm!
    -Typos and the joy they give.

Shelly: The Squeaky Mallet of Common Sense has been lying under my altar.   So that means its now a consecrated squeaky mallet.
Kevin: Common Sense and the smiting power of your god.
Vinny: All in one neat easy to carry package.
Suzanne: (pause) Uh-oh.
Shelly: I want that in a D&D game. Squeaky Mallet of Common Sense and Smiting, +5.    I could do double damage against the non-believer.
Vinny: You do realize that you and I are the only ones left who worship Isis don't you?
Shelly: I worship Thoth. I think I'm the only one.
Vinny: That means everyone would take double damage.
Shelly: Yep. I could travel the world.
Vinny: You are one scary bitch sometimes.
    -It's long, but I like it.

Don't invoke the Butter Cookie. It's a bad idea.

"C" is for Chauncy and that's good enough for me!   "C" is for Chauncy and that's good enough for me!
Oh, "C" is for Chauncy and that's good enough for me! Oh! Chauncy, Chauncy, Chauncy starts with "C"!!
    -Chae, she filks even in silly spots. Isn't it wonderful?

Shelly: I love you, Bev.
Bev: I love you too, you sick fuck.

Why am I forever single? I'm easy and I like sports.

Vinny: Ok, now I want everyone to feel the dimensions of their auras.   The texture, the color, the flavor...
Kevin: (firmly) Chocolate!
    -Why our coven patron is Pan

I don't believe I know the proper etiquette for speaking with the toaster.

You know how men work? Ready. FIRE! Aim.

Somewhere, just out of sight, the dust bunnies are gathering...
    -Check behind the computer desk.

She's a worse Catholic than I am and I'm a pagan!

Silly Shelly! Milk is for non-lactose intolerant people!

A giant spongecake...that's better than a hole.   $10 million dollar spongecake.... Can it be chocolate?
    -Shaun, on the big dig.

[A computer is] like an Old Testament god; lots of rules and no mercy.
    -Joseph Campbell

That Deck Of Many Things comes in handy...except the time I lost my soul...(quickly)I got it back!

This is our coven god. He's having a bad hair day.

Undocumented features: Same bug wearing a hat and a tie.

Damn Scottish bats!
    -Shaun on Dire Bats

Teachers are teachers 'cause kids are idiots!

A picture is worth a thousand words, except on the internet, where it takes longer to get a picture than it does to get a thousand words. I wish web designers would remember this.

It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, or heavily fried food.
    -The Tick

"The Amazing World of Carbon Nano Tubes is now playing..."
    -Over heard on a loudspeaker at the Museum of Science.

There's this marvelous sense of security every few hours, when I remember that, yes, I HAVE fixed my pants.

Well, I'm blood sisters with her blue jeans...
    -Bev, after Jemma slapped a mosquito

I've lost my handcuffs! I'm so upset!

Shelly: Hmmm...
Chae: What?
Shelly: I'm contemplating taking the world by storm.
    -After school plans.

It's a wonderful integral!
    -Glen's response to "It's a Wonderful Life"

Just in case anyone wanted to know about the state of my ear cavities.

Curse those evil octopi!
    -Genma (Ranma 1/2)

Yeah...There's a regrettable lack of wild crazy sex going on in my head.

You're going to meet a gentler, fuzzy kind of math.

And you sell cranes, so you are a classy establishment.
    -overheard at a stationary store.

I've received many excuses for late homework over the years.    My dog is sick...my car broke down...my elephant ate my homework...

Would you like a side of physical torture with your angst today, sir?
No, I'll just take the purely psychological special.
Oh, very good choice sir, it will be ready shortly.
    -Shelly on angst

Shelly: These pants make me look fat. They do. Look at my ass.
Jemma: Wow, Shel, I am entranced by the fatness of your ass.

Shelly: Who let the players out? Ow! Ow! ow ow ow!
Bev: Don't make me slay you with your own metal sword.
    -Bad filk

If you keep them at their maximum freshness they'll stay good for a while, but if you don't refrigerate them they'll go bad...they'll start to smell.
    -Bev on mercs

My gods, they're so ugly! They are; look at the pale scrawny preppy boys!
    -Jemma on the Backstreet Boys

If Julie has a half a notch left she can't go at all because the other half is the residue that the car saves for its own nefarious purposes.
    -Glen on cars

The whole point is to build a car that goes from 0 to 60mph in as a short a time as possible...before it hits the tree and goes back down to 0.
    -Glen still on cars

Brad: This is the face of the enemy!
(Throws down a plastic Tinkerbell statue onto the table.)
John: And it looks like the enemy has been chewed on.
    -Magic and Witchcraft class

Sitting Across from me is that strange creature Homo Thesis.  Half man, half theory.
    -From a Darwin special on PBS

Bev, stop it, just stop it. They're nasty, they taste nasty, you're some form of couch fungus, now stop it!
    -Bev on potato chips

...the worst sprawl ever. See look, my pinkie is in my ear, come on!

I regret that I have only one imaginary life to give for my plotline.
    -Shelly's dying continuity demon

You shouldn't have been able to see the pattern in the original table.   If you did you would have been very strange ...or me.

This is no time to worry about... --- Where are you going, Dad?
    -Shelly gets distracted easily

Oh my god, it's a dog! I thought it was a fluffy walking footstool.

I think it's sad that when I was little the things I desired most were stuffed animals, and now the things I desire most are weapons of mass destruction.

Dog-gone motorized dragons.
    -heard at King Richard's Faire about airplanes

It doesn't need to be spiked. It's tea, it all depends on what leaves they put in!

Right now, my shoulder is looking at my ear like, "Hey, baby!"

You don't need more than one person to have a sex life.

You're discorporal, you're not allowed to corporate. Stop!

It's like the dance of Shiva. There's good news and there's bad news.
    -Bruce, that's putting it lightly

Some really groove on the psycadellic spots on the butterfly wings...

I'm not pagan, I'm just desperate.

Exponential functions? Bacteria growth!  In your ear!

You do realize, I think you have me right where I want you.

We wouldn't be here if it weren't for an oxygen producing algae that wiped out most of the life on Earth. So next time you see a blue/green algae, thank it.

We don't need to sacrifice hoopoe, after all, that's why we have children.

I could do so many weird things to you, it's wonderful to contemplate.
    -Jemma is messing with Bev

That's why I wanted to crawl into Bev's hood. I'm lookin' at it, and I'm thinkin', "Boy that looks comfy."

Be joyous or I'll tickle the crap out of you.

It's not possible to be mellow in a college that has Betsy Sherman in it.

Jemma...my love...my darling...my rose in a garden of evil...DRINK THE GODDAMN COFFEE. I'll get my own.

Sweet Christ on a cracker. Flying Lizard Snack Bar Girl!

To these bacteria you and I are lunch.
    -Ken Miller

...You three will stay here and fight the Battousai,  I'm going out for a cappachino.
    -Shishio, Kenshin dub outtake.

Only because I love you, you freak!

Chae: What's wrong with your mouse?
Shelly: It's misbehaving.
Chae: Out of Cheese error?
    -AIM, 12 midnight, and Terry Prachett, gotta love it.

I have to commit Hari Kari just because that pun was so bad. I have shamed myself.
    -Shelly after Monkey King worked his way into a Darwin paper, on Septik art.

Wading through Mervin Peeks' writing style is like wading through molasses...very rich, very dark, very gothic molasses, but molasses nonetheless.

Close! With the non-no longer open!

Tory: I slept fine, except I started to late and ended to early.
Shelly: I know dresses like that, they start to late and end to early.
    -It's way too early in the morning.

That is a happy pothole.
I'm swimmin', in the water, and I'm just gettin' deeper.
And I'm gonna break your axle.
    -Jemma on potholes

That is a poppy hothole, isn't it! ...I just said that was a poppy hothole, didn't I? ...no more talking for the Bev-bev, it never works out right.
    -Bev, misreading the previous quote

Until we have no idea who borrowed from money who first?  Who money, who borrowed, oh shit I give up.

The dining hall is just one giant exponential zoo, isn't it?

You wouldn't be Shelly if you weren't micro.

It was a quote. It was a great quote.  I said it was a great quote and then everyone promptly forgot it.

The great evil orange juice empire!

Fuck you, I am not a sexy bitch!

Jemma: Bev, what is up with this? You keep on clogging...
Bev: Ummm, I have very oily aura?

When I come home the bunny looks at me and says: "Damn! You're one fuzzy bitch!" He feels intimidated by my overfuzziness.

You will not fuzz me, woman! I am immune to your fuzziness! Back!

So for a while, when you were studying trigonometry in Arabic, you were studying boobs.
    -Glen, It's a long, long story.

Student: So what's cosine then?
Glen: The Alternate Boob.
    -My math class rocks!

It was raining; it was cold; the field was sopping wet; I got booted to the head; we lost...God it was good! That's soccer for ya!

Neither are they moist, and I'm pretty sure they're not orbish.
    -Shelly on her non-heaving bosom

Shelly: So how are you?
Jemma: Aside from the screaming terror...Fine.

You're a home for wayward meeps.
    -Jemma on fish

No letters of the alphabet were harmed in the making of this example.

I brought my colored chalk today, so be prepared for a multimedia extravaganza.

Jemma: Did you bring your notebook?
Shelly: No...
Jemma: (disdainfully) Oh you, idiot!
    -On the way to LARP

How did I get this job? Oh yeah, I created myself, my mistake.
    -Jemma on the Goddess

You're driving on the highway heading for the funny exit cause you think you might make it with this much gas but you pass right by funny and head towards scary...there goes scary on your right and you're headin' towards disturbing and Mister, you might just keep going with as much gas as you have.

I would kill you, but it would be too much trouble to resurrect you.

Jemma: What'ssss in your pocketsses?
Shelly: Junk. Precious.

Some of these things are a caption short of a Farside calendar.
    -John about witchcraft propaganda

Chae, you do not have permission to torture me for all wrongs committed.   You are not the Karma Police!

I'm editing an evolution paper; the only sex I'm having is DNA reproduction.

I'm clinging to St. Peter, cleaning the Lamb with a toothbrush.

They're going to beat the shit out of me for telling you this, but you can come see me if you want. Just have to find a cat or a hare to ride on. Hopefully no one will turn your body over, 'cause then you'll die...let's hope that doesn't happen.
    -Brad, on when we could see him after class, (in the style of the NightRiders)

Shelly: In this case, not only is Good smart, Good's pissed. Good's got a double-bladed claymore, don't fuck with Good.
Jemma: How is Good enjoying her double-bladed claymore?
Shelly: Good can't lift it.

It's like a brownie raped a cookie. Feels good - yummy rape.
    -John on the fudge brownie cookies

I can't call down the Warrior of Light to fight the forces of Evil and her son, and wash tables at the same time. I'm just not that multi-talented.

That look Wayne gets where he's smiling at you but he's really banging his head on the desk.

Just glaring balefully from the region of your groin.

Fisher: ...Since I'm not a convicted child molester, it should be okay.
Shelly: (thoughtfully) One of my gym teachers was a convicted child molester.
Tory: ...And Shelly enters the conversation with her usual aplomb...
    -Shelly's just good like that

Shelly: I don't think you can have sex 24/7, you'd fall over.
Caroline: (on another topic, we're pretty sure) I don't know, Lucky and I tried once.    After three hours, it just gets boring.
Shelly: Have you tried chocolate?
    -oy the dinner conversations

It's not a phallic symbol so much as a screw symbol.
    -John on a ship in the Transformers movie

This, is a hoof. That, is your crotch. You, are a moron.

Ow, hot candlewax BAD. ...Yes, so next time you're involved in a pagan ritual, ladies and gentlemen, DON'T WEAR A SWIMSUIT.

This is blood sugar sex magic.
    -Jemma about cocoa

Shelly: No, Drew is a nice man who's never used his genitals on me. His genitals are in no danger from me.
Tory: And since you are equivalent to ducttape...
Shelly: On genitals, yes.

Jemma: I threaten your soup with my cocoa! Hah!
Jesse: I threaten your cocoa with my sandwich! Hah!
Shelly: Children, children, the cornbread hath come between you.

You built an addition to your closet; you have a walk-in now.

If we come into her nursing home Shelly will be layething the smackdown upon us!

It's sort of heading off at right angles to reality.
    -Glen on the Squareroot of -1

Well, he exposed his works to the world.
    -Glen on Archimedes

It's not a trick...it's cow art.

Glen: Choose any point on this graph.
Rachel: Bottom right!
Glen: Not that one. Ok, choose a direction.
Ete: Diagonal right.
Glen: Not that way.

Can we do this on our own? Do you want some overhead markers so you can taste them too?
    -Glen, don't use your fingers to erase the overhead....

Shelly, I don't know how, but you just made your cat pop.

Hi fiddle de de, it's a Raptor's life for me...CHOMP.

Everyone's staring at you wondering why Robin's suddenly stable.
    -Shelly, the Inn at the End of the Universe

Chae: We could play pin the tail on the donkey.
Jemma: What jackass would you be looking at?
Robin: (to Soren) What jackass AM I looking at?
Soren: That's what I thought.

(Chae's Father walks past)
Bev: Hi! I'm eating your nuts!  ....  Wow!
    -Bev, on pistachios

Evil may be an exaggeration. She's simply an instrument of mayhem.

The gargoyle feels the sudden urge to take control of the world with a mischievous grin.

I gotta pet you, my little wideload.
    -Nick on Smokey

Bev, David Bowie is a little Mountain Dewy.

Wow, it's the most beautiful shade of dark that I've ever seen! Look at all the dark!

Thank you, I try to appall whenever I can.
    -Bev, "Entering Beverly..."

Shelly: I think the Navahos did that too.
Jemma: Passed on Judaism through their mitochondria?
    -Honestly, it did make sense at the time

We can start a conundrum circle.

I think you should have your work back, so you can treasure it, or have a ritual burning.

If your ship never comes in, you have to swim out to it.

If I did that the Lady would kick my ass six ways from Sunday and back to Peru. And then up and down the coast of New Zealand a few times for good measure.

I have seen Bhudda. And he said to me, Nice ass.
    -Jemma as Kang Ta

He moves...He basically moves like a fifty-year old sex kitten on tranquilizers.

It's the Underworld Railroad.
    -John, on devils fleeing from the Midwestern town that banned Satan.

There are two kinds of curves, happy and sad.

I'm basically RPing a Drow Paul Voice.

(Brad walks in with a stack of photocopies on his head)
You know, I did the photocopying for today, but I don't know where I put it..."
    -Brad's so silly

What? Did someone write sucker on my back, on wait, it's on my front!

Yanyingfeng: Good Shelly.
Jayla35chu: BLEH
Yanyingfeng: Virtuous Shelly.
Jayla35chu: *gag*
Yanyingfeng: Dutiful Shelly.
Jayla35chu: *starts tossing immortal peaches at Lao Tzu*
Yanyingfeng: Funny Shelly!
    -On an FWT project

Go ahead, you puny mortal!! Don't you know I hold your fertility in my hands?!

Pray to the God of Small Noses.

No, I'm going to ponder this new taste sensation until I achieve enlightenment.

I'm sure you're well aware that you have the Glomp that glomped Manhattan coming to you, so I won't remind you.

Kevin: OHHH! A Virgin! What's a virgin?
Suzanne: If you don't know that...
    -No fear, he was looking at guitars

See that, how many 2nd level Wizards would charge into battle with 200 Goblins!  I am Mega-Mage!!!!!!!!!!

Fluffy...it's a perfectfuly adequite name for a horse...a gay horse.

At some point, in every artist's life, comes the sad realization that she can't actually draw a horse.

You stay right up there, you majestic creature of the wild. I am not dinner.
    -Shelly upon confronting a mountain lion.

Ommmm. The Goddess is a kiwi.
Ommmm. But She wants to be a strawberry.
Ommmm. She's basically a fruit salad.
Ommmm. We always knew the Goddess was a fruit.
    -Monkey the comedian

Shelly: Why am I discussing the breasts of ancient queens?
Jemma: ...'scuse me, Tori, you have to get up again.
Shelly: Fuck me!
    -Another quote in so many minutes

Dammit, did I quote again? I'm not even on painkillers!
    -Poor Shelly

Ok, let's begin...What is a straw hat?
    -Paul Voice, starting a "Philosophy of Love" Class

An instance of strawhat-hood.

We're in trouble if love needs diagrams.
    -BlackArrow listening to the class

That's enough about the use of love in our life. Let's get back to straw hats.
    -Paul, it's the straw hat of love!

Mickey Mouse can bring you to tears, love, joy! You can love Mickey Mouse.

My brain is sautéed tofu.

We need to get on the Ladder of Love.

Does it represent a triangle upstairs?

This particular zebra exemplifies zebraness.

This is a life time of study to figure out what Plato is saying. We can do it in ten minutes.

They become...fal..falsi...they become falsies.
    -Brad has trouble with spelling

One thing that paradigms do...is rescue a professor when his mind goes blank.

Just say no to Paradigms!

Do they laugh? Do they cry? What's a Paradigms favorite color?

I have a pencil! I have a pencil! Like a ferret on ecstasy.

Leathan: I finger...I finger...
John: Finish the sentence man, don't stop it there!
    -that could go so far, so very fast

Look at it this way, your sinuses taste like cherry now!

Q...between r and s. Or wait...

Erotic phenomena. That should be the word of the day.
    -Shelly is reading philosophy

When did erotic pneumonia get in the file?
    -Shelly's only dyslexic when she talks

We took care of God. God's gone.

What the hell is going on here?
    -Paul, the teacher in philosophy class

This urge to merge.

School could foster creativity, and certainly not maul it like a grizzly bear on a honey ham the way it does now.

He's called Frederick the Wise, but really he's Frederick the Not Very Savvy.

Suppose that you have the belief that Brittany Spears is a good singer.   Now you discover that this belief has been artificially instilled into you.   You still wanna groove to the music, right?

Oh, did we say heretic?! Saint! We mean Saint!

My braids have yet to attain consciousness and quote.
        -Unlike Shelly

I'm not telling the truth here, I'm trying to muddy a pool.

How do you make chicken stock? You take a chicken and you stock it!
    -Shelly at age ten

Glomp monster: Glomp, gloooomp, beibee!
Shelly: Oh no, it's the Touga glomp demon! BAM, BAM, BAM!!

You know it can't be good when you walk in and all of your allies are lying on the ground out cold and bleeding.
    -Aoshi from Kenshin

Does that mean I can order them to rise up slay the masses? Dude, get to work!! ... Fuckin' tables.

I feel loved and aspirin-fed!

Help!! It's a lustful spoon!! Get me out of here!

Meep nothing, sad pagoda.

I ate a lot of food. So now I'm fat. So that was rewarding!

The God. Damned. Lesbian mosquitoes are out early!

Okay, there's a glade, now what's the difference between a glade and a grot?   Hold on, let me look it up in my illustrated book of romantic imagery!
    -Chris Miller

When it came to message, Wordsworth was kind of a one-trick pony.
    -Chris Miller

Like most eighteenth century art, the heroic couplet tends to be a little bit anal.

The purpose of philosophy is to corrupt your soul.

I hope you're starting to get confused.

Our capicity for self-abasement is limitless.

This will not solve your confusion. This will describe your confusion.

You're thingyfying yourself.

I am suffering from acute depression.  I am the sad blob in the Zoloft commercial.
    -Black Arrow

I like eating my meals in a wang free environment.

You start identifying who's come into the room by how the springs squeak.

It should be a general rule that you don't fuck your friends.

That girl knows seven languages and she can't say no in any of them.
    -Dorothy Parker