No, I shall disect it until
its quoteness flees, yiping like a dog with a...thingy...
-Shelly
If you should ever, ever encounter anything you'd refer to as a
"crazy hole," YOU DON'T CLIMB INTO IT.
-Max
Let this flacid fry tell you something.
- John
I like my tiny titties, they're convenient!
- Dana
I looked out the window and all I could see was this crane full of bush.
- John
It's pot-luck Fry-day.
- John
My wallet is like a woman's purse - it's endless and no one knows what's
in it.
- Nessa
I don't want to head-butt anyone's package!
- Cassie
"Of course, Orcs invented Samurai, just as Goblins invented
Ninja."
"I've never heard of a Goblin Ninja."
"Then they're doing their job, now aren't they?"
More important than national pride is the titty.
- John
Nessa: Oh my god, I want to sleep!
Megan: Oh my god, I have 80 pages of reading to do!
Max: Oh my god, I'm wearing makeup!
Max: I was really hoping there would be a baseball bat of Whiff.
John: The Sword of Whiff!
Your inner soul has sparkly nipples.
- Cassie
I draw like a dyslexic cow.
- Dana
Hey John - you wanna play Megan: the Gathering?
- Max on messing with Megan's multiple IDs
You were right, my love, they do exist, and they're the
royalty of squirrels! They're beautiful! Like little Roth-rodents!
-Jemma
Power is the ultimate aphrodesiac.
- Mansour Farhang
As of 10:15 this morning you are all philosophers. Well, not quite. You
haven't written anything yet...
- Paul Voice
We could create whole worlds and systems dedicated to the salami gods and
still be wrong!
- Kayto
I can say clitoris but you can't because this isn't a sex
class, it's a philosophy class.
- Besty
I'm going to leave clitoral ripples up and see if Paul notices.
- Betsy
How do I know, standing here talking to you, that I am not having a dream?
- Class stares blankly at Paul.
...or some kind of nightmare...
- Paul
Now, God is a good chap, so it's unlikely he'll muck about with us when
we're doing addition.
-Paul
You're all alone on an island of solipsism surrounded by a sea of doubt.
- Paul
I have an idea of a zebra. I have an idea of you. But you might not
exist.
-Paul
Our everyday perception of reality is very different from Descartes'. This
makes him very difficult for you to read, but...so what?
-Paul
You can start with zebras and work up to god.
-Paul
So, you've got unicorns and numbers dancing in your head?
-Paul
Use the stuff they taught you in kindergarten - it's not entirely stupid.
- Paul
I'm sure this has never happened to you, but you can picture yourself
drunk...
- Paul
You can recall being drunk, you can anticipate being
drunk...probably what you do on Fridays in class.
-Paul
You're at the bottom of your bottle of rum and you're just counting the
same swan coming round the pond again and again...NO! We're counting different
swans...
-Paul
Ross: It's a calligraphy set, a book, and... I don't know what that
is...
Megan: It looks like it's inflateable.
If you touch me again, I'll castrate you and shove your dick so far up
your ass it'll hopefully bruise your lungs.
- Dana on the newbie
Dana: Do you see this face? Do you see this face? It means I've
stopped listening to you.
Max: But Dana, you always make that face.
Dana: What does that tell you?
THE LONG TABLE: scaring you shitless since sophomore year.
- Max
I don't care about the economics or the politics - my school smells like
crap! Fuck you Osama - or whoever they're blaming this week. Fundamentalists! Atheists!
God! Broccoli - only the white kind! That's cauliflower! Shut up!
- Max
There's a forcefield of lawsuits around your poking area!
- Penn
I heard 'Should I marinate your balls in brown spice sauce and lock you in
a room with a rabid wolverine and April Bernard.'
- John
Nessa: You squirm more than Max does, this is a novelty to me.
Penn: Yeah, well, boobs are a novelty, too.
I'll let you play with my novelties if you let me play with yours.
- Penn
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