We'll begin a program of stripping you naked and painting you with the stars and stripes. Instead of giving speeches at the presidential debates you'll just streak across the platform screaming the anthem at the top of your lungs.
    - John

I'm starting to think that instead of sending my high horse off into the sunset, I killed and ate it.
    - Cassie's not a vegetarian anymore

Nat is a very generous man. He's hosting a family of tapeworm, their home was destroyed in the war.
    - John

Unfortunately, there's about eight other people behind them who think they know where they're going. So there's just this train of thoughtless people with feet!
    - John on slow prospectives

I think it was a pumpkin. Unless they don't have pumpkins in Scotland, and just have accents.
    - Cassie

I've accepted years ago that the ducks are always watching me.
    - Cassie

70s porno facial hair accessory.
    -Nick on Chris's beard

I thought you meant Hannibal the Conquerer! We never saw it coming - How could we?  It came from out of nowhere - the Huns attacked!
    -John

You can be my sidekick! Can I have pants? No! You can have a thong and a leotard! You can't have any sleeves either! Here, you can have some garden gloves to make up for it.
    -John on Batman and Robin

You went down two inches, but you went up like four cup sizes, it was amazing. ...Did I really just say that?
    -Nick to Bev, who got called Vanessa

Nick: I really like these pants, but getting a hard-on in them is so inconvenient.
John: Don't point that at me, we aren't roommates anymore.

I have an image of 12 animators sitting in a dimly lit room and the director walks in and says, "Who wants to draw the male nipple?" "Nooooo!" (leans back, holding up hands to ward off the thought)    "All right, Dark Schneider will be nippleless." We'll draw Gara pulling himself along a stone spike, we'll go hunt down really good sound effects to go along with it, but we won't draw his junk. No box, no tackle.
    -John

Well of course they do - when you're tenderly caressing the nape of someone's neck, you don't wanna feel coarse hair! I think self-conditioning hair is just part of yaoi, like self-lubricating boys are! Not that I've actually read it, or... oh, god...
    -Cassie on having soft hair in yaoi

I was going to download an episode of Evangelian, but then Liz Coleman and Paul Renzi came into my room and beat my computer with bats.
    -Max

Oh, you had room checks today?
    -Megan to Max

We're gonna watch the Blair Witch Project, Jurassic Park, and Sleeping Beauty, because they all have annoying young people going into comas in them. That'll be the theme.
    -John

I'm just going to have to find a store on the Astral Plane that sells padlockable underwear.
    -Cassie

You can also go get your pants out of John's room.
    -Nick to Cassie

And see the thing is, I sat in the back row, and he threw it with disgusting accuracy!
    -Nick's French teacher chucked chalk

Everyone gets cake, just some people get stale cake. Some people get stale, not so tasty cake, but every gets cake because everyone deserves cake.
    -Cassie is cute

Stale cake with gummi worms! They get the point.
    -Cassie

I'm gonna take a pool cue and stick it up his ass - how do you like the popcorn chicken now?
    -John

I've seen a meep go for a thorn bush like it owed them money.
    -Shelly

I wish I had a penis just so I could threaten to do bad things with it to people. Cuz that's all guys do. I'm going to beat you to death with my penis. I'm going to write the Declaration of Independence with my penis.
    -Bev

Oh! I did it again, speaking of penises.
    -Ness

When Britney Spears is on the cover of Playboy, Nick, it'll be three inches of skin and two nipples more than we've seen!
    -Cassie

See, here's the thing, Jem, you pull out the quote napkin, we feel obliged to fill it.
    -Nick

You see, there's the eyes of Sauron, and then there's the ears of the Shemma.
    -Cass, ph34r our l33t quote-mongering!