Sweet juicy god, that's
-Nick on Shelly's to hit stat
Now we're done with the buying expensive shit phase.
Man, I sound like a severely diseased vacuum cleaner.
There's a faint scent of ozone in my nostrils.
Nick: You're fighting Termagou.
John: I'm fightin' a spice?!
Nick: Not terragon, you fuck!
Nick: Alaric the orc.
Helen: Bjork?! Man, they're dead!
When they run at me they say "Raa-ach-owwwww fuck, my foot!!"
and I kill them.
-Deacon caltrops are fun
Shelly: Shelly turns into a happy mushroom.
Nick: Tricksy false funguses.
One side can have a scary clown face-it's like, scary clown, scary clown!
Smeagal the flaming magical greatsword.
Excuse me? Excuse me? Do I have to show you my dexterity bonus?
What if God was one of us...just a DM omnibus...
-Shelly as heard by Jemma
Do swords have necks?
Socks of ogre stench.
Rodgord the Lazarus ant.
He squeejied her third eye?
John: That's what Alizdog dreams of when he's talking to the undead ants.
Sitting on their shoulders..."
Jemma: While they dance in circles and beat drums?
Nick:There's an item called the Archne Eye...
Shelly: Wait, I have that already! Oh no, wait, I have the other thing that's an eye.
It would be like taking a pile of regurgitated Jell-O and trying to make
one of those molds with all the marshmallows in the right place. You just can't do it.
You feel kind of disoriented, like you just went through airport security
and they had to do a cavity search.
So it's gonna blow at us?
A little deeper than that'll think Berry White with strep throat.
The Virgin Cassie appears to be having fits on God's bed.
Oh no, the Virgin Mary knows Kung Fu!
Orcejellies, they're tree flavored.
Esahme's bonkying the roomies...
It's taken damage for 17 if it's not dead, just shoot it!
Alizdog calls over to the shadow. "Hey Shadow, wanna play horse?
Vowal!!! File! ... I just messed up foul and vile ... Sweet juicy Nick!
... Oh GOD!
Deacon's gonna cut through the red tape in a metaphorical sense and spear
Whoo-Hoo! I did some-thing use-ful, I did some-thing use-ful!
-Helen sings after killing the Ifritet
While the baby is playing patty cake with Alizdog, Deacon chops its hands
Finally Alizdog's showdown with Edith Warton.
The thief was hit with an anvil! This level brought to you by Acme! The
boss of the level is secretly the Coyote!
John: Does he smell any other babies?
Nick: Nope. It's not a buffet.
God's concubine gets off the bed and slaps the hell out of whoever said
We're talking about a human society based on the Smurfs...or at least I
We're fighting God's cuticle!
God isn't getting any for the next week.
Don't look a gift Bull's Strength in the mouth!
God plays basketball wit the Bianca-ball.
In other words; Chi-ching, dear.
I have a little chip in my head that hits me whenever I realize that I'm
becoming a nerd, and right now it's hitting me in the face like a barroom door. Someone
asked me if I could do something this evening and I said: "No, I have D&D."
Bean cake is different than a cake with beans on it.
I know I ask you this often, Jemma, but what are you eating?
You overestimated at 600xp and its 3600xp?
Nick: Everyone at the camp's been kinda depressed since you got back.
Alizdog: I tried taking a shower!
Delivers 21 damage to the first son-of-a-bitch who wants his fruit.
Tries to kill one of them with his big long stick.
I don't appreciate art! Only shiny things!
-Bianca, spoken like a true Kender
Nat: Deacon starts singing a really old Elfish death chant.
John: Enter the Sandman?
Nick: Alright...Helen, 2300exp.
Helen: Just for peeing? Wow!
Nick: Best pee ever!
John: Mr. Stalagmite.
Shelly: I think we just learned the name of John's penis.
John: It it's a rock hard erection, yes! As of now it's the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man!
So guys, don't drop out of the campaign! Unless you want these characters
you've been working so hard on, to get hit with a fucking flashlight!
Flaming Sphere of Death, which just rolls back and forth over the
wraiths...there's 30 of them, so it really can't miss.
Eshame instantaneously achieves level 93.
I'm gonna start kicking wraith ass, because I'm a house, with a snarling
kitty vorpal mace with glowing eyes.
Deacon rolls a 19...22 with the bonus, strikes a pose.
She's no longer Eshame, she's Eye-House!
God gave her something better than a boob job.
Sometimes we speak to our stomachs, but most of the time we're speaking to
My mind is in the Utena gutter.
I refuse to deepthroat the celery. ...gag me.
People ate my mother all the time.
I'm not gonna eat my mother! Not even if SHE paid ME!
Kaj, please ignore the thing dangling between the breasts that you don't
Fuck you with a gangrene testicle!
-sprite to Rezar
Body of sex, brain of muffin.
-Shelly on Rezar
Bren: It's falling asleep, the poor thing.
Rezar: It just smacked me with a stick of celery!
Bev: Dude, it was just celery!
Shel: Yes, but it was rough!
And the sprite's celery makes a nosedive for his crotch.